34 Comments
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Richard Pack's avatar

That absolutely devastating final understatement.

Charlie Walls's avatar

It was a difficult one to write. I wrote this story over a long period while working on other stories. I'd add a sentence here and there. Most of my stories, while horror, aren't this dark.

Richard Pack's avatar

The worst, (best?), part is how real the foundational themes and emotions are. I think any parent could relate to this story which is what makes it so bleak.

Charlie Walls's avatar

I think so too. Plot aside, I think all new parents, even well prepared ones, feel overwhelmed sometimes. I sure did.

Andy Edge's avatar

Jesus christ this was a panic inducing read. I want to say well done, but...no I will say well done at leaving me feeling disturbed for having read this. Well done.

Charlie Walls's avatar

Thanks! Glad I could disturb you

Tim Woolworth's avatar

Yes to all the words. The ending was chef’s kiss.

SouthernWriter's avatar

The way my heart raced when he was dropped at first was INSANE. And then AGAIN when I thought he would be okay. Dang. The adrenaline from this was absolutely a rollercoaster. 10/10. Very sad and scary, but 10/10

Charlie Walls's avatar

Thank you!

Gary L Taylor's avatar

Great story, powerful ending too.

Hai Dang's avatar

I breathe through my teeth at the first bounce moment. I always know it will end badly, but boy, it's the hope that it won't end badly that breaks me when it does. Jullien hit the horizontal wall.

Lorraine Mozelle's avatar

With the amount of dread rising in my chest, I wanted to close my eyes as I neared the end of the story. Great pull toward the tragic ending! This one should definitely go in a psychological horror anthology.

Charlie Walls's avatar

Thank you so much! That feeling of rising dread is exactly what I was going for

Hina Gondal's avatar

Beautiful,love this

Amber Estwick's avatar

Omg I don't know if I'm evil for laughing

Charlie Walls's avatar

I think you may be, but I won't tell anyone

Amber Estwick's avatar

Great story charlie boy. I appreciate you

Amber Estwick's avatar

You're welcome

Zephyr Mezmeron's avatar

I love how the ending is brutal and poignant because of how much less detail it's given than the rest... masterful. That was suspenseful, disturbing, haunting, and a wee bit funny as well. Very nicely writ, sir.

Armand Rosamilia's avatar

Wow. Great story, solid landing on the ending, too.

Charlie Walls's avatar

Thanks!

Also, great pun!

Armand Rosamilia's avatar

You see what I did there!

Alicia's avatar

🤯🤯🤯! You got me, Charlie. Whoa - that ending. Damn, son!🤣 But seriously, you really tapped into the darker aspects of motherhood nobody ever talks about. Even though many would never admit it, I bet a BUNCH of mothers can identify with this.

Charlie Walls's avatar

Thank you. That means a lot. This was a tough one to write

Alicia's avatar

I bet! But some of the best stories have to be dredged up from the depths.

Emily Frey's avatar

Oooooh, sick!!! (said with a smile) I was wondering what the horrific catch would be. Well done!